just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize