I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I wish there were birth control emojis
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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