I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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