I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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