I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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