Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
