Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.