Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.

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(918): I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater. http://tfl.nu/r4ec

Replies (9) Good night (4611) Bad night (795)
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(585): View more from New York

Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.

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(585): Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories. http://tfl.nu/56hq

Replies (40) Good night (1698) Bad night (1947)
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(760): View more from California

genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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(760): genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex http://tfl.nu/ckcw

Replies (33) Good night (3545) Bad night (1597)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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(630): i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can http://tfl.nu/e7bo

Replies (26) Good night (1825) Bad night (5300)
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(940): View more from Texas

I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...

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(940): I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night... http://tfl.nu/gxgg

Replies (10) Good night (6433) Bad night (1301)
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(650): View more from California

she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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(650): she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out. http://tfl.nu/w208

Replies (17) Good night (1549) Bad night (9136)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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(208): Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/191q

Replies (18) Good night (915) Bad night (5562)
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(631): View more from New York

So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here

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(631): So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here http://tfl.nu/ydin

Replies (7) Good night (2252) Bad night (700)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye

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(318): I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye http://tfl.nu/xi6q

Replies (6) Good night (2626) Bad night (813)
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(573): View more from Missouri

you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.

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(573): you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment. http://tfl.nu/2sfo

Replies (7) Good night (1913) Bad night (632)
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(631): View more from New York

We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?

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(631): We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge? http://tfl.nu/xnes

Replies (10) Good night (2300) Bad night (575)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless

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(570): U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless http://tfl.nu/wr07

Replies (0) Good night (780) Bad night (386)
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(909): View more from California

Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught

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(909): Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught http://tfl.nu/ohgq

Replies (9) Good night (953) Bad night (366)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.

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(218): I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/uq12

Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (457)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..

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(920): All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot.. http://tfl.nu/vftt

Replies (4) Good night (230) Bad night (531)

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