Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest