Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
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Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list