he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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