im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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