another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
