and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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