i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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