Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
kristin has been a bad kristin
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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