If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.