I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.