Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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