How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?