that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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