i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
