just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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