tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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