try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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