Screwed.edu
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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