handjob tips. give me some.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
