names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
