Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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