wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
