So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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