Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
