Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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