btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
