You're my little dorito
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
