So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
