Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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