I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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