Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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