my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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