I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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