My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
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We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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