actually, I'm a sock model
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
