I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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