I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
