There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
