after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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