Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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