Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
