hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
