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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Quick, to the slutcave!
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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