Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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