brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
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Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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