I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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