There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
