Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
