He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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