why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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