Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
