Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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