I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
