I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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